Me, Undone

Life chases like the wind.  In two weeks,  I walked away--for good, leased a beautiful new apartment in Philadelphia, moved, unpacked, and woke up alone.  Yes, I am alone--emotionally and mentally lucid.  These arms, this spine, these thighs...oh...I am so open. I've really missed Philadelphia. I'm infatuated with Philly's smelly streets, colorful murals, and tiny byobs. I am falling in love again. I have a gorgeous apartment and a deck with an unobstructed view of the Philadelphia sky line. I don't know where this will end. I am not going in circles anymore, and that feels damn good. I'm coming back in to myself again. A homecoming.

I live on the water. For two straight days, helicopters have circled outside my window searching for the bodies of two tourists who disappeared in the tragic ride the ducks boat accident. The noise from the propellers is deafening. It is a constant reminder of life lost. A reminder that there are two set of parents on planes to America to retrieve remains. They found the girl this morning. My sensitivity is heightened by the fact that I just returned from a trip abroad. To think, to imagine, that something so tragic could of happened. What do I do I with this feeling? I’ve let fear creep back into my life. It has stolen my sense of wonder and my ability to live without hesitation. We always think we have so much time to get things right. But you and I both know there is no such thing as time.