Thursday, August 21, 2008

A mix of things...



My significant other stumbled across my last blog regarding her request. Let’s just say that she, yes she, wasn’t so thrilled. The birthday gift ended before it even began.

I have to admit that I’m a bit relieved. I know that the frequency of sexual intimacy is not a measure of our commitment. Pause. Now I can savor the decadence of a spontaneous needy fix. Hooray for small miracles.

After some thought, I think way too much, I believe that her request was an attempt to keep me near. She thinks that she is losing me.

With great sadness, I ended my internship last Friday. I’ve had an amazing summer. I will miss the incredibly talented lawyers in the public interest field. They are rebel rousers, social movers and change makers—fighters of unpopular causes. Charles Houston was right; lawyers are either social parasites or social engineers. I am no parasite. I will miss my clients, women at point zero, struggling to regain control of their lives. I have faith in their ability to change and move forward.

I start my final year of law school on Monday—with a mix of exhilaration and relief. I cannot write of all the times that I have thought about leaving it all behind to return to normalcy. Life came around full circle this summer as I was imploring Tara, another woman of color, not to leave law school. But what of those behind you? I thought.

Tara finally decided to escape to California for the semester to gather her spirit and mind. Hopefully she will return in the spring to finish the task at hand. I often wonder about these large predominately white institutions of power—so many brown bodies crushed in the shadows. This is about so much more than her or I. We need a revolution with lawyers on the front line. I am preparing my weapons and armor for war.

I am grateful for the lawyers of Pakistan speaking truth to power—reminiscent of lawyers in the American civil rights movement. They have dismantled Musharraf. They have given me faith in the measure of my professional degree.

Life is unfolding in my hands. Life, deliver me.