THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH




In exactly seven days, I will step into my fourth body. Most people are unaware that as humans the bone in our skeletons completely renews itself every seven years. So while you sit at work, drive your kids to school, and make love, your bones are constantly shifting and re-growing—discarding things unwanted and unused—the ultimate refinement. Every seven years, we become our most magnificent selves—the updated and amended versions.

In exactly seven days, I will be 28 years old. I have to admit that I am not exactly where I once thought I would be at this time. In college, I had imagined that I would have a stable career, moving up the ranks as a powerful attorney.

I imagined that I would be starting a family with a man that I loved—living behind a white picket fence, the embodiment of the American dream.

I imagined that I’d have the wind at my back—all my loved ones here to enjoy the fruits of my success.

However, at the threshold of my fourth body, I am met by the realities of my life. I am not an attorney. To the contrary, I am still in law school and I don’t have a job.

I am no where near starting a family and the prospect thereof is somewhat daunting. I don’t live behind a white picket fence, but in a high-rise. And the most important of my loved ones is no longer here to enjoy the fruits of my success.

But I am content.

What I could have never imagined is the strength of the human spirit. Seven years ago, I clothed myself in visions of power, believing that becoming a big attorney was the only way my life would be of worth. On the dawn of this new body, I know my worth. I know that my value can never be measured in inauthentic and temporal power.

Seven years ago, I never thought that I would ever have the courage to live my truth--to love a woman in the light, unabashedly unafraid of the consequences. Today, I am no longer silenced by religious rhetoric or my desire for perfection. I have never experienced such freedom and fulfillment as it is to love a woman. This is where I was always meant to be.

Seven years ago, I believed that I would never be able to move forward if the center of my life left this earth. My mother is no longer here; yet, I am still moving.

On my desk, I have a letter my mother sent to me a month before she died. She addressed the letter “To my future attorney” and ended the letter with “Your #1 mom.” Between the salutation and the signature, she told me how proud she was of me.

This letter came after I told her that I was leaving my husband, and after she met my girlfriend, whom she hugged and laughed with and loved. She measured her achievement as a mother, not by my accomplishments, but by the woman I had become. To her, I was already a success. She gave me permission to live my life the way that I see fit—and I thank her for her abounding and unconditional love everyday. I will never be ashamed of who I am for I am deeply loved.

So on the eve of this new skeleton, I say goodbye to the former. You have kept me well. You have offered me protection and fortitude in my darkest hours. I will take this new body into the next seven years, and at 35 it shall return to the earth, and I will come again to pay homage.

Comments

The Dreamy One said…
wow that was beautiful!!

u had me with chills. i love that your mom accepted for the person that you are.

that is the most wonderful gift a mother can leave her child!!!

i hope that you are having a wonderful weekend sweets!!
Mizrepresent said…
Awe lady, that was deeply moving. You are wise beyond your years, and what your mother did for you, leaving you that letter was so very special. I think i will sit down and write a letter to both my kids...because although i tell them everyday how proud of them i am, and how much i love them...i want them to know that even in death i knew that they would be all that they could be and would would make me most proud being the loving and caring individuals that they've become.

You are comfortable in your skin...and that's a beautifully place to be.
Skoolboi Krush said…
sounds like your mom gave you all the gifts you will ever need
who? said…
I'm two years away from my 3rd form... I must say that I, unlike you, am not content with anything thus far... maybe, by the time I'm 21 I'll give up all of the pipe dreams of living a wonderful life and stick with the fact that I wasn't meant to be shit... but... it's wonderful that you are content with how your story is being written... the fact that, even though you aren't the high priced attorney (who would do it for free for me) yet, you're well on your way... and the fact that you do feel free to be who you are without feelings of fear of what others think is something that, quite frankly, most niggas only dream of doing... I only hope that, when I reach your milestone, I'm as cool with all that's happened as you are with your situation...
shine said…
Aww...i am so moved by all of your comments.

@ Dreamy,
thank you so much. yeah, my mom was a beautiful person. She left me with more than I will ever need. I am so glad that you are ok!

@ Miz
thanks :-)Your comment makes me want to cry. I am glad that u are not afraid to tell ur children how much u love them. yes, write that letter as soon as possibe. It is worth more than gold.

@skool boi
yes, she did, and i am so thankful.

@cannon,
I know that this is a crazy time in your life. There is so much that u want to do, so much that u want to become, but the path is unclear. I have faith in you. I have faith that u will find your way and be where u were always meant to be. In wour writing I see greatness. In time, u will see.
u should be content
u are a wonderful spirit folk
28 and 7 great numbers
shine said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
shine said…
aww...thanks torrance. good folk knows good folk.
Unknown said…
"It used to be said that man is built completely anew every seven years, but some scientists now declare that we build ourselves entirely over again every eleven months so we are really only eleven months old. if we build the defects back into our bodies year after year, we have no one to blame but ourselves.
Obama Mama said…
wow.... that was beautiful and truly inspiring.

I had no idea about the body renewing itself evry seven years.
Don said…
Enjoyed the read. You have told me something I never knew - the bones every seven years. That's interesting, especially considering how I turned 35 last year. I knew something was different....lol. Nah, seriously I once underestimated the power of the spirit, and now I see that our spirits truly define us as human beings.

Enjoy your 28th, I know you will.
shine said…
@ Tony,

hum...interesting. i'll have to look that up.

@ Obama Mama,

thanks so much for the comment and thanks for stopping by. welcome and come again.

@ Don

we learn something new everyday. so, u are in ur 5th body. how does it feel? yes, the spirit is amazing--it is truly what defines us.
Buttercup said…
awwwww...i love this post..u give a new definition to freedom of choice..

i wish u all the best as u start another 7 years n happy birthday in advance!

sorry bout ur mum..just treasure her memories!
Beautiful, precise, honest and above all, human.

I salute your new body and tip my hat to your success in life! Because you already have succeeded, as a human being.

Greetings from London.
shine said…
@ buttercup,

thanks, love. I will forever treasure the memories. and thanks for the b-day wishes!

@ cuban,
aww...thanks so much. u've given me the most wonderful compliment.
Don said…
@ shine: it feels like I can peep things from a mile away. It feels like I don't have anything to prove anymore. Just looking to live and enjoy now. It feels great, for the most part.
ibiluv said…
wish u all u wish urself gal in the next 7 years

its good to know-all mama has of u is fond memories
ShonaVixen said…
this was beautiful gurl!!!and all the best for the next 7 years!!
shine said…
@ibiluv,

thank you--yes, it is good to know how much my mother loved me. Welcome and come again.

@shonavixen
thanks for the well wishes! Thanks for stopping in--come again.
NoRegrets said…
I love that idea - the 4th you. I'm coming up on my 6th one, and have to keep that in mind.
shine said…
@ nonregrets,

I wish you all the best in your journey with the 6th body.
Muse said…
you should write african stories. you really should.
shine said…
@ muse
i'll take that as a compliment!
Muse said…
where you been?!?!?!?!?!?

come back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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