how to save a life

the box of blue pills rest by my side. i fumble with the lid and cautiously slide them out onto the living room table. blue little pills i’ve used so often for relief. tonight i think that i might use them to save a life. when I was a little girl, i read that GOD took Enoch away. one day he was walking on earth and the next day he was free. separated him from the fallacy of this world. this transient and painfully unbearable façade. some nights i ask, well why can’t GOD take me?

i sit here with sorrow carved so deeply. eviscerated.

i want to sleep tonight. blue little pills.
my salvation.
this musing. not a cry for intervention. i know full well that if i put these blue pills in my mouth i won’t make any attempts. i will leave this earth tonight. pray GOD mercy.

Suddenly, I hear her loud like something crashing down. She is in the other room. Completely unaware that I have decided to save a life. I push the pills away. Fuck it. Fuck me.

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Ms. Jackson said…
powerful sista
7:40 AM
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