Sunday, February 15, 2015

Lose to Win

And then, she pondered the absurdity of life. Each moment. One by one. Pulled closer and wrapped into a cord tight around her neck. A jewel placed in the center.

She had searched for days to find something to keep her here.  A twenty minute TED Talk. A self-help book.  All lovely, but ultimately ephemeral. Nothing could save the soul that now hung a corpse. Its rotten stink filling the air wherever she traversed.

She had dreams of the sea rolling in and her dead mother coming with a blanket to protect her. Was it a gesture of comfort or a motioning to go forward?  Would she finally let her follow?

“Nothing will ever be as beautiful,” she said as she stepped onto the chair. Beauty, a transitory and subjective human construction. With the lights dimmed now, she only saw shades of gray.

In the bathroom, she examined the totality of her earthly experience. Is this what they spoke of? Was there nothing more? For the life of her, she could not remember what she came back to learn. Why the fall?

So she took a deep breath and stepped forward.

Sometimes you have to lose

To win