Earth Day

On this earth day

here is an ode to all the things that didn’t go right

To the vain ambitions 

The ghastly blood-borne tantrums

And the rage

This is an ode to the fuck-ups. The fuck faces. 

The petulant mouthbreathers  

The uh…ohs…

To the sloppy way I drank all the tequila 

Stashed in that cupboard in New Mexico

And drunk dailed my dead grandmother three times. Hoping. Hoping. Hoping. 

And even emailed the Magician 

The one who serrated my liver into forty-four 

And to the Ring camera that caught discarnate limbs running out into a snowstorm at 3 am to dance. 

This is an ode to the interview man that came on his Zoom Zoom 

To tell me who I was 

I wanted to release the middle bird

And lace a necklace of profanities around his heart 

But instead   

I sat on my hands 

As payment for being This Way 

Very haughty 

Very untamed. 

This is an ode to the unanswered. To the unmanifested. 

The ectopic pregnancy 

The clump of mucosal spores at the bottom of the porcelain toilet 

The dandelion wishes blown off course. 

This is an ode to the moment I learned you must bury your dead, or else they will rot. Stealing your breathing spaces and your future.  

This is an ode to the day I wondered 

What all this living was for 

And took big pharma into my mouth

And swallowed whole 

Disconnect. Reconnect. 

See… Jane…Run. 

This is an ode to the woman who never prays anymore 

To the attached. Avoidantly. To the trifled. To the coward. 

To the just enough. 

This is an ode to the I AM 

The I AM that sees the escape hatch, every day, in its view

And chooses art.